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  • Kim Idol

Why oh Why

Santa Claus

North Pole (what’s left of it)

Earth (what’s left of it)

December 2021


Dear Santa:


Rather than ask you for things this year, I need answers. How about it?


Best guess is that you are about 1700 years old. Please tell me you know more than I do about everything.


The semester is nearly over and as are the relationships with students I have been working with for months. That always makes me sad. Although I am grateful for a moment of review before I launch into next semester and I look forward to the holidays I’m saddish. Did I do well enough? Does that matter?


I am tired and ruminative about life and family ties. I worry about friends. Are they safe? Are they happy? I wonder where I am in my life. Have I have used my time well? Can I put what’s left to better and better use? Have I been honest with myself about myself and about how decent a human being I am and, as always, what is THE MEANING OF LIFE?


I have been trashed by some kind of flu that has made it impossible for me to be as active as I wish and I am not sleeping well so I am obsessing on the unanswerable concerns of existence.


It’s 4 A.M. You must be up. So Santa, please reply to the following concerns.


  • How in the hell does dog hair migrate into my refrigerator and up onto my kitchen counters? My dogs don’t cruise the countertops or hang out in my crispers.

  • Why does the cat throw-up onto things that have to be cleaned instantly?

  • Am I fat? I feel fat.

  • Why do I look like a Crabapple doll? My skin seems to be dripping off my face.

  • Bangs, no bangs, to hide my three stooges forehead?

  • Why do my little toes look like I stole them from a rhinoceros?

  • Why did my bamboo plant die? What did I do wrong? Did I alienate it by confining it to the bathroom? Was it mad at me?

  • Will my fern (Fred) follow it to the final plant destination because he and bamboo girl both sense(d) that I love(d) them less than my pets?

  • Am I really too lazy do a full on house clean myself? Am I too poor to get Maids Inc. to do it? Is paying someone to clean up after me a moral failing? (I’m considering just living in squalor and avoiding this conundrum altogether. Let the body squad sort it out when my time comes.)

  • Do I smell? Does it matter? I haven’t had a bath for days. I’ve been sick.

  • And finally which of the three monkeys (see no, hear no, speak no) do I most resemble?


Sincerely,


Obsessed with the big questions - Planet Earth (why are there so many other people here?) - In my head (as always) - Kim


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2 commentaires


Membre inconnu
05 déc. 2021

? :)

J'aime

Membre inconnu
04 déc. 2021

a .


, , . & . .Nothing

J'aime
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