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  • Kim Idol

The Ballad of Casey Jones

Saturdays are my cheat days. I don’t go nuts, but my regular diet is strict. On Saturdays I allow myself to eat three meals. I’ve been on a diet since I was thirteen which is also when I began exercising. It’s why I don’t gain weight and keep fit. It also helps me stay sane. I am not always depressed, but the creature waits for any moment to take control. It is a kind of mucoid, odiferous, heated big beast that knows all my secrets and hides in my brain, waiting. A baseline of diet and exercise keeps it at bay and keeps it from holding me down too long when it does sink its fangs into the back of my neck.

Also, I don’t like going outside on Saturdays. It’s icky outside. The world is horrible, full of horrible news and annoying people. Not everyone is annoying, but the ones that are get to me. I obsess on them. Why do they exist? Why are they in my rear view mirrors?


What I will eat for lunch? A whole meal instead of two pieces of fruit. What shall it be?


A train wreck occurs not months after train workers went on strike warning of an inevitable oncoming disaster if we didn’t listen. The disaster was second page news to start. Then someone mentioned false flags. Then the company offered 1000.00 to people whose lives were destroyed. You say they should move? Who will buy a house on a toxic site? Then Raquel Welch died and that news was posted alongside the disaster, sports stories and concerns about Tiktok ads, dick pcs, super star meltdowns and fans who are angry about how Halloween Ends included a second serial killer.


An omelet? Cheese? What kind? Spinach and mushrooms or jalapenos? French fries, hash browns? Do I want rye bread or a banana muffin? Maybe a personal pizza?


1000 dollars to a family that just lost their dog, their home, their jobs, the ability to address any of that to a company that set the whole thing on fire just to get the trains moving again, to a government and opposition that has mentioned, windmills killing whales, marijuana smoke causing air pollution, a gay guy in charge, and infrastructure failure they recently voted to keep underfunded. “What about eggs?!”


If I get a pizza, then I need to get a salad. Would a slice of chocolate cake be worth it, or do I want a chocolate chip cookie with walnuts which will mean I have to leave the house because I don’t cook.

How about stronger regulations for trains? How about taxing these people so we have infrastructure and organizations to help these people? How about rebuilding the trains with braking systems that are desperately obsolete? How about returning to the table to hear all that the union representatives had so say

I think in the end it’ll be a two egg omelet with cheddar cheese, spinach, onions and tobacco sauce and fries and three chocolate chip cookies.


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